A House Is Not A Motel in Oakland

Actually, there was some real deal Hollyfield housing of real meals, booze, and hash at our motel 6. Pizza twice, Chinese, a picnic, giant hoagies, beer, cherry moonshine, Kesler, lots of Kesler, and some bubonic chronic that made me choke and eventually vomit.

But despite all that we finished recording a killer album. Everything about it is far superior to the last album. The production, the drums, the guitars, the vocals, the songs, the energy. All that stuff that's supposed to not suck is absolutely a massive step up for Gypsyhawk. As of now we don't have a release date, and we're still finishing up production notes, and deciding artwork, but everything is on deck to warp minds and slay expectations, good or bad.

So for now, it's pretty much just playing the waiting game. We'll be working with Metal Blade on editing rad footage from the studio and hotel for your pleasure, or whatever, and we're heading to SXSW in March. Speaking of which, we really could use your help getting there. We're setting up a Kickstarter right now (don't judge us) and we'll be offering some fucking rad rewards to sweeten the deal. Ron Houser himself will be up on the web explaining why it's so important that you help us out if you can. We'll make it worth your while.

Thanks for all the support, y'all are the best. Enjoy the photos.

Who Needs To House When You Have A Castle in Oakland?

Had a slight issue with the computer so I didn't get around to writing anything happening at Castle Ultimate Studios. Until now. Everything is sounding great and we're having a blast. I can already tell this album is going to be far superior to the last one. Our guitar tones are breaking through way harder and rounder, like fake tits. I think we've developed a sound that sticks out from other bands, but, then again, I think all other bands suck besides Cinderella.

Our hotel room is ok. We had to bitch them out for not making our beds or giving us clean towels. And there's no shampoo to fight over. But the hotel sits beside the water and I got drunk the first night and jumped in. Hurt my toe.

We're taking tons of photos and video, but we're holding off showing a lot of it so we can edit it down to a Star Wars-esque masterpiece. Ian has been practicing shouting "Mootini!" and Ron has found a way to brush his hair so he looks like Chewbacca. I'm obviously Admiral Acbar and Eric can be one of the droids you're not looking for. But i've included a taste for you below.

Alright, Campers, I'm off for now, but stay up, stay black, and stay fresh with Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder-Gel.

(note: internet here sucks. couldn't post the video.)

Rival Tribal Rebel Revelry and Resilience

For Those Who Give The Fuck, Gypsyhawk begin recording our second full length album this sunday in Oakland at the same studio we did our last album Patience and Perseverance. We're doing ten new songs about typical metaphysical introspective wanderings like love, creativity, bargain hunting, and the megaloceros. Actually there's a few songs about outer space, a few songs about Westeros and Beyond, one about Catcher In The Rye (which is actually about a pastrami sandwich), another one about Ohio, and one about some other crap. I don't know. I don't write the lyrics. But I'll try and keep you updated on our progress and let you know if anyone is fucking up.

Day 23 - The End: We Leave The South, We Do New York, We Zig West, Then South, And West Again. A Hobbit's Tale.

I'll make this quick.

Richmond, VA: Partied all night with the Merciless Souls motorcycle club. Not unlike Judas Priest's "Rock Hard, Ride Free".

Brooklyn, NY: Two nights. Rain and Defense. Rockin' and Sockin'. Dinosaurs and 2 Bit Whores.

Lexington, KY: Always a Classic.

Columbus, OH: Secret cache of O.G. Four Loko. Heaven to some.

Cincinnati, OH: Or Covington, KY, depending on who you ask.

Detroit, MI: There's a good reason its name is often followed by "Rock City". Live video with great sound on our facebook page.

Chicago, IL: Da Bears.

St. Paul, MN: Free Pabst swag. Cool montage of clips from our set on the Pabst facebook page. Wannabe hair metal band, I think.

Des Moines, IA: Playing Six Strings. Housing On Things. Eric Harris Sings. Hogwashings.

Wichita, KS: To be continued....

Amarillo, TX: Strippers.

Albuquerque, NM: Super Giants in the sky, ping pong tables all night (and no, no beer pong), and Jesse Pinkman brought the good shit.

Phoenix, AZ: We stopped here for a night and just had at it. Thanks, DiTina.

L.A., CA: We'll let our good friend Dave Attell sum this one up: "You should have hung out, maaaan." "What happened???" "OHHhhhhh.... 10 minutes after you left. The Dixie Chicks showed up and fucked everybody. Even the fat boy with asthma wearing the Babylon 5 t-shirt got a hand job. And it's never going to happen again."

I hope I didn't forget anything. Then again, maybe I do.

So what did we learn? Ian will never run out of nicknames. The Alamo is a great place for a defensive position against bad times. Huntress is unstoppable. Detroit actually has a lot of money stashed away in it. The south's weather is fantastic in the last half of September. Barack Obama loves ribs in North Carolina. Denver will never stop partying. Some people think trees and rivers are lame, should be covered in cement, and replaced with Wal-Marts and Guitar Centers, and the best time and place to vent such feelings is when driving the van and others are trying to sleep but can't because they're having a laugh attack. Strippers are always the best time killer, c-sections or not. The Megalocerous just might be the First Deer. When comparing two things it's appropriate to say that one is "morer" than the other, but totally wrong to say "morerer". Family is the finest tool you have on the road. Stephen King's The Dark Tower involves lots of naps and man-boy love. Never get out of the fucking boat. Hogwashing is a totally ok way of bathing your junk. If the day does not require an AK, then it is good. Houston has the hottest girls. Stuff should also come out of men's nip nips, don't you think think? Always buy a bottle of bourbon before the show, but don't let Ron Houser know until it's almost all empty. O.G. Four Loko truly tastes far better than white people Four Loko. Don't fill up your laptop with Simpsons and Porn; it will crash. Whipped Cream flavored vodka is delicious. Blue Berry moonshine is delicious. Waffle House isn't alway delicious. Reno wins. L.A. is a dying animal. And Gypsyhawk can pull it together for 40 days and 40 nights without killing each other. At least once.

Day 22: Andrew Johnson City

Andrew Johnson is arguably the worst president in U.S. history. Basically everything Lincoln and the North brought about to help blacks was quickly undone under his administration as though nothing had happened. On the same note, Johnson City was arguably the worst show of the tour. So far, of course.

Conversely, Ron and I housed an entire bottle of 103 proof Fighting Cock whiskey and woke up with nary a hang over. Good stuff!

Day 21: Ashevillians

I asked Kristin, who put on the show, and played guitar in ZOMBIE QUEEN, what I should include in this blog post. This is what she said:

mmmm..let's see, hogzilla, shiner, upside down dri patch, busch lite blaze orange cammo can
satanic faith healing you gave me on my forehead
(didn't work btw.."E" for effort
though)
Zombie Queen Shout Out
(cuz we luv yuh)

Me: is that all?

Kristin: i'm thinkin... the night was a little hazy!
oh Yeah! BiGGGG WEINEZ!!!!



Yeah, that pretty much sums it right up.

Day 20: Dancing the Charleston

PARTY! Totally made up for Birmingham. Isn't Sabbath from Birmingham? Anyway, super special thanks to Cam Bowman. We couldn't have asked for a better dude to put on a show. It was fun, we got Jack and Pizza, and even though there were scary bugs crawling up my pants legs we stood upon flying buttresses and defended the good times.