Day X+3: Salt Lake Deez Nuts

Well, it was the final show of the tour with Huntress. What a bunch of assholes. I mean, seriously, do you really need that much cocaine up your vein? It’s like they’re using the Motley Crue biography as a road map. Dudes and chick, this isn’t 1982. It’s 2011. Kids don’t think partying is cool unless you take photos and then superimpose cats and “FAIL” on top. This day in age, you need to act professional at all times. Word to the wise: do what we did, which is pretty much suck as many balls as you can while fingering any lingering poop hole. It worked for Steve Carell, and it will work for you too.